I was 17 when my dad left for a trip and never came back. He was killed by a drunk driver. For a long time, I carried a lot of anger. I was angry about the accident and everything it took away. Over the years, and honestly over decades, the Lord helped me let go of that hate. I can’t say the pain disappeared, but it changed. It softened. What I needed most was hope after losing a parent. Back then, I wouldn’t have known how to say that.
My relationship with my dad was complicated. He was a tough, demanding father, and the Navy kept him away a lot. Home life wasn’t exactly a warm and fuzzy place. I can only remember him saying he loved me once—and that was right before he died. That moment stuck with me, maybe because it was so rare, or maybe because it showed me there was more to him than I usually saw. Sometimes I wonder what our relationship could have become if we’d had more time, more growing up, and more chances to talk like adults instead of just surviving the daily family grind.
Hope After Losing A Parent
In a strange way, his death also became the beginning of my spiritual search. I remember thinking, deep down, there has to be more than this. That thought didn’t magically fix my grief, but it gave me somewhere to go. Over time, that search led me to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I came to believe in Heavenly Father, in Jesus Christ, in life after death. And in the idea that families can be connected eternally through temple covenants. I also came to believe something else: God can work with the broken parts of our stories, not just the shiny, polished ones. For me, that became real hope after losing a parent—not just hope that I’d feel better, but hope that relationships can actually be healed and restored through Jesus Christ.
Recently I went to my 50th high school reunion, and honestly, it was really good. I caught up with old friends, remembered people I hadn’t thought about in ages, and felt that unique sweetness of seeing familiar faces and realizing that time hasn’t erased everything. For a few hours, it felt like distance and decades didn’t matter much. I left feeling grateful—and a little surprised at how tender I felt afterward.
Feeling Anxious
But after the reunion, something unexpected happened. I started feeling anxious.
I think it’s because that experience was like a small preview of reunion and reconnection—of seeing people again. It got me thinking about the reunions I want most: with my parents, with my family, with the people I’ve loved and lost. It also made the regrets sting a bit more—regret for what I missed out on growing up, and regret that my family relationships weren’t as peaceful as I wish they had been. As Elder Lance B. Wickman said, “grief is the natural by-product of love.” (“But If Not,” Oct 2002)
A Simple, Honest Peace
That’s where my hope comes in. I’m not looking for a perfect do-over of mortality. I don’t need an apology from my dad. I think I’ve forgiven him. What I’m hoping for is simpler and, honestly, deeper: peace together—the kind of peace that feels safe, honest, and healed.
I’m choosing to trust the Lord’s promise that one day, “God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain” (Revelation 21:4). And I’m choosing to believe that through Jesus Christ, “all things shall be restored to their proper and perfect frame” (Alma 40:23)—including what feels missing in my family story.
And if a high school reunion can remind me that reconnection is real and powerful, then I’m choosing to believe heaven, through Christ, can do even more.
About Gospel Discussion and Comparisons: The content on this website is for entertainment and faith-building discussion. Any comparisons made between movies, books, current events, or other media and the Gospel of Jesus Christ are personal commentary and illustrative only.[…]
This work was created with help from AI as a tool for research, proofreading, and doctrinal accuracy checks. It’s similar to how many writers rely on researchers and editors to improve clarity and correctness. However, the thoughts, interpretations, and overall message, and most of the text, are mine.
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